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Posts from the ‘Moving forward’ Category

Sep 10

When Wisdom Leads

I wrote an article about wisdom and what happens when you allow it to lead you. It can be found in the current issue of the On Purpose Woman Magazine.

Here is the link: https://pub.lucidpress.com/24d295d9-40b1-4da9-ac6d-ed13a4d5bc1c/?fbclid=IwAR3RQDrYr9NDlDtEAMXge5H3nlfosx971cxfeldNZ_Wpe-HYkdpB5VZDGzw#URP_ulk8bL~V

I enjoyed reading the other contributions to this wonderful magazine. I hope you do too.

Apr 14

Pull Together to Lighten the Load

I’ve been thinking about division and how it increases the heaviness of our burdens. When we divide and have an us or them view it narrows our potential support, resources and opportunities for new possiblities. This makes any load that we are carrying that much harder to bear and move.

Think of it this way: If there is only one hauling the cart with the load it can be a struggle. It takes so very long to make the cart move and to deliver the load to its destination. This method can feel overwhelming. It keeps you isolated by doing it all alone.

Likewise, if there are two pulling the cart from opposite directions it becomes a tug of war. Each one is straining to make the load move even an inch in the direction they are headed. Ground may be gained but it can easily be lost as they exert all of their strength against each other. As you might imagine the load may never arrive because each one has a bull-headed destination in mind. I’ve termed it such to illustrate that each one pulling in opposing directions only gives consideration to what they want, to what is important to them.

Right now we are all carring a similar load called COVID-19. The coronavirus is a scary and heavy load that requires us all to pull together in the same direction toward a mutual destination. Both the direction and destination are; health, wellness and a way to move forward that does more than just get us through it. I’d like to see us all arrive at our destination healthy, well and uplifted because we did pull together.

In order for that to happen we have to let go of petty differences and judgements that slot people into disparaging categories. We have to release blame and shame, criticism and stubbornly wanting it our way. We must move beyond all of that limited way of thinking and being.

We are being called to a higher consciousness where we consider others feelings and needs equally to our own. Each of us can begin to offer compassion, kindness, love, hope and support to everyone without constrant. We all could use more of these qualities offered to us each day. Let us find ways to pull together, even while practicing social distancing, to lighten everyone’s load…including your own.

Aug 12

You Can Say No Program

Many people find that they are challenged in saying yes to what they want or they put what they want last. Because this is so prevalent in our lives I created a program to assist with saying no.

It is the You Can Say No Program. This program allows you to explore saying no so that you can say yes to what you truly want.

This program is for you if you want to: gain or strengthen your ability to say no, stop being ignored, walked on, dismissed, talked over or shut down and if you wish to: have time for what is important to you, want to feel nurtured and supported in your days, be able to standup for yourself, have your voice be heard and open to the possibilities that enrich you.  

The You Can Say No Program is crafted to assist you in becoming comfortable and confident saying no in most instances so that you can say yes to create a life that you love.

  • Your Ability to Say No Quiz (Value $175) Take this quiz to see how well you are able to say no and find out why that is important. Use this link to take the quiz for free!   https://www.fyrebox.com/play/your-ability-to-say-no-qu_9DROZGpan
  • One Free Introductory Coaching Call focused on Your Ability to Say No Quiz results (Value $150) Send me an email at: seed4change@gmail.com after you take the quiz to schedule this free coaching call.

Saying no is important to your well-being. It is the first key to building a life that you love.

(An added benefit of calls includes never having to fight traffic or find parking, instead engage in coaching from the comfort of your own home.)

Planning your days to include more of what fills you in good ways and eliminate or change what empties or depletes you is how you begin to create a life that nurtures and supports you.

There is richness contained in what you want.  

Let me know if you have any questions. I’m looking forward to talking with you! Shelly O’Connell, Life Coach

Nov 29

Envision Your Future

Complimentary Coaching Session for a limited time! What do you want to bring forth in 2019? When you envision your future what do you see? In coaching you get an opportunity to give voice to your dreams, craft your goals, determine what you need to make them happen and take action toward them.

To get you started I am offering you a complimentary coaching session. Use either of the links below to contact me to schedule your free coaching session. Act quickly because this offer expires on January 5, 2019.  https://shellyoconnell.com/contact/                              https://www.facebook.com/coachingbyshelly/

Oct 31

Time to Fly!

Clarity comes with a bird’s-eye view, 

Here our minds are cleared of cobwebs too.

 

Freedom soars on eagles wings, 

Recall anew the hope this brings.

 

Traveling through this sacred flight,

We gain the restoration of our sight.

 

Above it all we will rise,     

Led by that which is truly wise.

 

Now lift your brooms into the sky, 

Come my friends, its time to fly!

Oct 25

Calling Forth Confidence

Within each of us lies a mighty lion who is fierce and has unwavering strength. This is the aspect inside of us that knows what is right for us. It is the one that stands and fights for us. Equally it holds our ground against any threat. We call upon this inner lion whenever we move toward our desires.

At times we may not recognize the innate confidence that we hold. Our lion may be sleeping or caged. Not to worry because it is possible to awaken it and set it free.

Calling forth confidence or your inner lion is a process of tuning into what you want. Not what anyone else wants. Not what you think you should be doing. In fact, not any measure other than your own.

During this process there will be things that you let go. That’s okay because you are making room for what you really want.

Once you’ve tuned in to what you want you can begin to make a plan to support you and your goals. Small, realistic, achievable steps bring those goals into reality. Yes, there will be some false starts and errors made along the way but there will be successes too. It is all a part of learning to call forth your confidence.

Your lion is waiting.

Oct 1

Self-Care Tips to Use When Your Trauma is Triggered

Past trauma can be triggered by different things. If yours is showing up or you are feeling overwhelmed here are some self-care tips to employ.

  1. Emotions are normal. It’s okay to feel and express your emotions. It may be that they are an appropriate response to an inappropriate situation. Let them out in ways that are not harmful to you or others. Crying, screaming, drumming, pounding your pillow, dancing while stomping your feet are great ways to let some of that emotion out. Once emotions are allowed to be expressed we may feel a bit better. The release and expression of emotions are needed and healthy.
  2. Pause, breathe and check with your self about what you need. Do you need rest, food, water, to be unplugged for a while, time in nature, exercise, spiritual nourishment? What? When you recognize what you need in the moment, do it. Don’t put it off, take time to do whatever your self has told you it needs.
  3. If you feel like this is trauma that needs to be heard; talk to someone like a trusted friend, self-help hotline or professional. If you are not ready to talk about it and you don’t have to talk about it unless you want to, you could write it down and then tear it up. Sometimes buried or suppressed trauma needs these things but only when you feel you are ready.
  4. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Recognize that your emotions and reactions may be sensitive and you may be more reactive than usual. That is normal when emotions and trauma have been repressed and are now triggered. Don’t be too hard on yourself and know this will pass as you express the emotions and care for yourself.
  5. Speak up. Let others in your life know that you are sensitive. You do not have to explain any further than that unless you want to do so. Say what you need and don’t.
  6. Retreat. If you need time alone, take it. Doing what is right for you includes time to be on your own if that is what you want.
  7. Honor what is right for you at this moment. It may change with each expression of emotion or trigger of past trauma. Go with what you need now.
  8. You are not alone. There are people who love you and people who understand that past trauma can be triggered. Reach out if you need help with what is happening and with what you are feeling.
  9. Recognize that you are so much more that the past traumatic event. You have many tools and resources both within you and at your command to assist you now.
  10. Notice one small thing to pull you into the present moment. The wonder and beauty of nature are great tools to use here. Being in the present moment is helpful in remembering that the traumatic memory is in the past.

I hold you in love and compassion as you express care for your self. – Shelly

Sep 17

Goals Can Be Realized

The goals that you have can be realized. They require a specific plan, commitment to action and some accountability to take them from a wish to actuality.

Coaching helps you to get clear on your goals, create realistic, achievable plans of action and has accountability. The coaching relationship allows you to see yourself more clearly while offering support and a process toward bringing your goals to fulfillment.

Interested? Contact me at: https://shellyoconnell.com/contact/ or via my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/coachingbyshelly for a complimentary coaching session.

Aug 20

Do you know where you are going?

Standing still for a moment and looking around there is a field of infinite possibilities. Do you know where you are going or do you let the wind of the day pull you along hither and yon? Having a plan can get you to where you want to go and help build the life you dream of having.

If you do have a plan ask yourself some questions, such as: Am I excited about where this plan is taking me? Do I pause to take a look around and notice what is happening in the day? How open am I to new possibilities? Is my curiosity and enthusiasm present? What are the steps I am taking today?

If you don’t have a plan to create the life you want, ask yourself questions like: How is this going for me? Did the day bring me closer to the life I want to live? Do I know what I want? How might my life be different if I had a plan? Am I willing to do the work to build a life that I want to live?

Either way, plan or no plan, as adults each of us is driver in the vehicle of our life. Where are you going?

If you need assitance with these questions I offer life coaching services to assist you with: life design, resilience, healthy relationships, boundaries, self-care, awareness & use of personal wisdom, and goals specific to you. Visit me at https://www.facebook.com/coachingbyshelly/ to learn more.

Aug 15

Surrender; What’s That?

Often the word surrender is interpreted as quitting or giving up. While it can have that connotation in a siege it has other meanings when it comes to your life. For example, have you ever felt like you were struggling uphill with an impossible load on your back? What if you let some of that stuff you’ve been carrying go? Or perhaps you are doing everything you can to met other people’s agendas. Maybe it is an agenda that they have for your life and you want to please them but the cost to you and your well-being leaves you drained, empty and probably resentful. What would happen if you opened up to whatever uplifts you?

Surrender in these terms is not a passive, “I give up.” Rather it is a conscious and deliberate awareness to take action in your life. It is getting honest with yourself about what is not supportive to your happiness then being open to reframing things or letting them go. At the same time it is vital to notice and then embrace whatever nurtures and uplifts you. In this way surrender becomes the first step in creating a pathway to a life that you love.

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