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Posts from the ‘Self-support’ Category

Oct 1

Self-Care Tips to Use When Your Trauma is Triggered

Past trauma can be triggered by different things. If yours is showing up or you are feeling overwhelmed here are some self-care tips to employ.

  1. Emotions are normal. It’s okay to feel and express your emotions. It may be that they are an appropriate response to an inappropriate situation. Let them out in ways that are not harmful to you or others. Crying, screaming, drumming, pounding your pillow, dancing while stomping your feet are great ways to let some of that emotion out. Once emotions are allowed to be expressed we may feel a bit better. The release and expression of emotions are needed and healthy.
  2. Pause, breathe and check with your self about what you need. Do you need rest, food, water, to be unplugged for a while, time in nature, exercise, spiritual nourishment? What? When you recognize what you need in the moment, do it. Don’t put it off, take time to do whatever your self has told you it needs.
  3. If you feel like this is trauma that needs to be heard; talk to someone like a trusted friend, self-help hotline or professional. If you are not ready to talk about it and you don’t have to talk about it unless you want to, you could write it down and then tear it up. Sometimes buried or suppressed trauma needs these things but only when you feel you are ready.
  4. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Recognize that your emotions and reactions may be sensitive and you may be more reactive than usual. That is normal when emotions and trauma have been repressed and are now triggered. Don’t be too hard on yourself and know this will pass as you express the emotions and care for yourself.
  5. Speak up. Let others in your life know that you are sensitive. You do not have to explain any further than that unless you want to do so. Say what you need and don’t.
  6. Retreat. If you need time alone, take it. Doing what is right for you includes time to be on your own if that is what you want.
  7. Honor what is right for you at this moment. It may change with each expression of emotion or trigger of past trauma. Go with what you need now.
  8. You are not alone. There are people who love you and people who understand that past trauma can be triggered. Reach out if you need help with what is happening and with what you are feeling.
  9. Recognize that you are so much more that the past traumatic event. You have many tools and resources both within you and at your command to assist you now.
  10. Notice one small thing to pull you into the present moment. The wonder and beauty of nature are great tools to use here. Being in the present moment is helpful in remembering that the traumatic memory is in the past.

I hold you in love and compassion as you express care for your self. – Shelly

Sep 27

Claim Your Wisdom

Knowing what nurtures, supports and fulfills you is a part of having wisdom. Awareness of what drains, constrains and diminishes you is another factor of wisdom. Designing your days to uplift what enriches you while shedding what keeps you small is how you begin to claim your wisdom.

Start to notice little moments and actions that support you and those that don’t. Commit to this awareness for a week. Take notes. Then you can plan your day to include more of what fills you in good ways and eliminate or change what empties or depletes you. Trust your self.

Sep 22

Harvest

Think of harvest as a metaphor for your life. Now it the time that we harvest the work we have done in our lives. It is also the time to plant the seeds for what we want to grow and bring to harvest this time next year.

Look around you now and see what you are gathering in to you. Is it bountiful, ripe and luscious? Does it nourish you? Will your harvest carry you through the lean times?

We can gather all manner of good, delicious and fulfilling things to us. It is all a matter of the steps we take in deciding what to plant, how to feed or fuel its growth and how much we weed out while caring for those things we have sown.

I invite you to take some time to consider both this year’s harvest within your own life and to give thought to what you want to bring forth for next year at this time. It is our conscious intentions and actions that bring us bounty.

Sep 5

Expectations and Agendas

Hey, have you seen this rule book? You know the one that’s given to us by society and added to by those who had influence in raising us. It’s the one that tells us how to be, what to do and how to get along in our world. I’m certain you have one. We all do.

This book is pretty ragged and dog-eared from our daily reference to what it contains. Here’s a newsflash, one that I hope you share with everybody! This rule book is mostly made up of expectations and agendas for your life…wait for it…that would be other people’s expectations and agendas for your life. Kinda crazy when you think about it, huh? It would be one thing if those folks had your best interest at heart and ya know maybe some do. Overall though these rules are designed with an eye to what is beneficial to others and not for what is best for you.

The conformity construct of it is to keep you small and watered down. So I invite you to examine the rules within it. Ask yourself if the expectations and agendas from others support you in having a life that nurtures you and gives you the life you want. If not perhaps it is time to write your own book with a story that grants you the authority to shine brightly and play large.

Aug 28

Need a Reset?

Feeling tired, overwhelmed, bored or wacka do? Nature is the ultimate reset button when you need to rest, renew, and restore a sense of equilibrium.

Science now has a multitude of studies to prove the benefits of spending even twenty minutes in nature. But you don’t have to take their word or even mine for it. Try it for yourself and see what happens. Get out there and sit, walk, bike, hike, boat, float or zip-line your way to the reset you need. Do it today, I dare ya!

Aug 20

Do you know where you are going?

Standing still for a moment and looking around there is a field of infinite possibilities. Do you know where you are going or do you let the wind of the day pull you along hither and yon? Having a plan can get you to where you want to go and help build the life you dream of having.

If you do have a plan ask yourself some questions, such as: Am I excited about where this plan is taking me? Do I pause to take a look around and notice what is happening in the day? How open am I to new possibilities? Is my curiosity and enthusiasm present? What are the steps I am taking today?

If you don’t have a plan to create the life you want, ask yourself questions like: How is this going for me? Did the day bring me closer to the life I want to live? Do I know what I want? How might my life be different if I had a plan? Am I willing to do the work to build a life that I want to live?

Either way, plan or no plan, as adults each of us is driver in the vehicle of our life. Where are you going?

If you need assitance with these questions I offer life coaching services to assist you with: life design, resilience, healthy relationships, boundaries, self-care, awareness & use of personal wisdom, and goals specific to you. Visit me at https://www.facebook.com/coachingbyshelly/ to learn more.

Aug 15

Surrender; What’s That?

Often the word surrender is interpreted as quitting or giving up. While it can have that connotation in a siege it has other meanings when it comes to your life. For example, have you ever felt like you were struggling uphill with an impossible load on your back? What if you let some of that stuff you’ve been carrying go? Or perhaps you are doing everything you can to met other people’s agendas. Maybe it is an agenda that they have for your life and you want to please them but the cost to you and your well-being leaves you drained, empty and probably resentful. What would happen if you opened up to whatever uplifts you?

Surrender in these terms is not a passive, “I give up.” Rather it is a conscious and deliberate awareness to take action in your life. It is getting honest with yourself about what is not supportive to your happiness then being open to reframing things or letting them go. At the same time it is vital to notice and then embrace whatever nurtures and uplifts you. In this way surrender becomes the first step in creating a pathway to a life that you love.

Aug 10

Find The Fun

As a part of your self-support plan include some fun. Taking the time to play and laugh opens you to possibilites that you might not have considered. Fun renews you and places you fully in the present moment. Playfulness and fun are trying to engage you. Notice them and let them in. If you get stuck think of the two in this photo for inspiration. Ready, set, go!!!

Jul 17

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Appreciate You!

As you start and move about your day include some ways to show your appreciation for your self. Take some time to really treasure the uniqueness and wonder of the creation that is wholly, individually and intrinsically you and you alone. It’s a revelation and marvel when you do.

If you are like most of us this is a foreign concept. We are taught to care about others, the environment, our relation to the whole, our impact on the world, etc. Those things are key in being in harmony with life and I believe we need to learn to honor and appreciate ourselves too.

Stand boldly and vibrantly in the glorious expression of you! Don’t shrink, stand down or play small, instead revel in you. Find some ways to offer your gratitude to your self just for being you. Try it today and see what happens. Set a challenge to notice and appreciate at least ten wonders of the miracle of you. Bonus points if you find more than ten. Ready, set and go!