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Posts from the ‘Women’ Category

Self-Care Tips to Use When Your Trauma is Triggered

Past trauma can be triggered by different things. If yours is showing up or you are feeling overwhelmed here are some self-care tips to employ.

  1. Emotions are normal. It’s okay to feel and express your emotions. It may be that they are an appropriate response to an inappropriate situation. Let them out in ways that are not harmful to you or others. Crying, screaming, drumming, pounding your pillow, dancing while stomping your feet are great ways to let some of that emotion out. Once emotions are allowed to be expressed we may feel a bit better. The release and expression of emotions are needed and healthy.
  2. Pause, breathe and check with your self about what you need. Do you need rest, food, water, to be unplugged for a while, time in nature, exercise, spiritual nourishment? What? When you recognize what you need in the moment, do it. Don’t put it off, take time to do whatever your self has told you it needs.
  3. If you feel like this is trauma that needs to be heard; talk to someone like a trusted friend, self-help hotline or professional. If you are not ready to talk about it and you don’t have to talk about it unless you want to, you could write it down and then tear it up. Sometimes buried or suppressed trauma needs these things but only when you feel you are ready.
  4. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Recognize that your emotions and reactions may be sensitive and you may be more reactive than usual. That is normal when emotions and trauma have been repressed and are now triggered. Don’t be too hard on yourself and know this will pass as you express the emotions and care for yourself.
  5. Speak up. Let others in your life know that you are sensitive. You do not have to explain any further than that unless you want to do so. Say what you need and don’t.
  6. Retreat. If you need time alone, take it. Doing what is right for you includes time to be on your own if that is what you want.
  7. Honor what is right for you at this moment. It may change with each expression of emotion or trigger of past trauma. Go with what you need now.
  8. You are not alone. There are people who love you and people who understand that past trauma can be triggered. Reach out if you need help with what is happening and with what you are feeling.
  9. Recognize that you are so much more that the past traumatic event. You have many tools and resources both within you and at your command to assist you now.
  10. Notice one small thing to pull you into the present moment. The wonder and beauty of nature are great tools to use here. Being in the present moment is helpful in remembering that the traumatic memory is in the past.

I hold you in love and compassion as you express care for your self. – Shelly

Appreciate You!

As you start and move about your day include some ways to show your appreciation for your self. Take some time to really treasure the uniqueness and wonder of the creation that is wholly, individually and intrinsically you and you alone. It’s a revelation and marvel when you do.

If you are like most of us this is a foreign concept. We are taught to care about others, the environment, our relation to the whole, our impact on the world, etc. Those things are key in being in harmony with life and I believe we need to learn to honor and appreciate ourselves too.

Stand boldly and vibrantly in the glorious expression of you! Don’t shrink, stand down or play small, instead revel in you. Find some ways to offer your gratitude to your self just for being you. Try it today and see what happens. Set a challenge to notice and appreciate at least ten wonders of the miracle of you. Bonus points if you find more than ten. Ready, set and go!

Life Coaching

“We all need a sacred witness in life, a person who can listen without judgment while knowing the right questions to ask that continually illuminate our path.” – Caroline Myss – This quote is the essence of Life Coaching.

In Life Coaching people work on their goals, dreams and desires for their life. Within an environment of non-judgment, clients create action steps toward their goals and learn to identify and remove any obstacles in the way of moving forward.

The International Coach Foundation offers this definition of Life Coaching: “Professional Coaching is an ongoing professional relationship that helps people produce extraordinary results in their lives, careers, businesses or organizations. Through the process of coaching, clients deepen their learning, improve their performance, and enhance their quality of life.

In each meeting, the client chooses the focus of conversation, while the coach listens and contributes observations and questions. This interaction creates clarity and moves the client into action. Coaching accelerates the client’s progress by providing greater focus and awareness of choice.

Coaching concentrates on where clients are now and what they are willing to do to get where they want to be in the future.” – Source: International Coach Federation (www.coachfederation.org)

If you want to learn more about Life Coaching and the benefits it can offer to you in achieving your goals, dreams and desires please send me a message at: www.shellyoconnell.com/contact to schedule a free discovery session.

Respect Women, Respect Life

“If the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being of the woman is intact, so too is that of the family, community and society.” – Ancient Indigenous Proverb

This ancient proverb gives me hope because it tells us that the overall well-being of females directly influences all of existence.

Clearly there is much work to be done to have all females, young and old, be in good health in their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects.

That is why women all over the world march today. They know that respect, care and kind regard are the minimum qualities that must be restored to them.

When the welfare of the women is honored, men and all beings in our world will also be well. In fact, these four essences being intact for females ensures that the entirety of life is glowing.

I know that the road has been long and filled with peril, but today there is confidence because the women raise up their knowledge of what is needed to restore wholeness and harmony.

A proverb is by definition: “a simple and concrete saying, popularly known and repeated, that expresses a truth based on common sense or experience.” This tells me that the ancient Indigenous proverb written above is known as true, which means that at one time the women’s physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being were intact. If it was once, it can be again.

To everyone today who is: marching, holding space, doing ceremony and embracing intentions of respect for the women, know that your efforts bring a restoration of harmony for all.

Thank you.