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Posts from the ‘Self care’ Category

Giving Yourself Permission Magazine Article

The Nov/Dec Issue of On Purpose Woman ONLINE Magazine is here! https://pub.lucidpress.com/28d0be83-037e-4660-83d0-f92c4f8f053e/?fbclid=IwAR3OOvhhEQTplTQacORZ8fuJShZO__YUNEha01m_9QJ0FwIXm35rURbzZnA#csu_ZLn1p1qc

This is a wonderful magazine arriving in a moment when you may need it. Check out the amazing articles and advertisers. I had the opportunity to write an artcle titled, “Giving Yourself Permission.” Let me know your thoughts.

Pull Together to Lighten the Load

I’ve been thinking about division and how it increases the heaviness of our burdens. When we divide and have an us or them view it narrows our potential support, resources and opportunities for new possiblities. This makes any load that we are carrying that much harder to bear and move.

Think of it this way: If there is only one hauling the cart with the load it can be a struggle. It takes so very long to make the cart move and to deliver the load to its destination. This method can feel overwhelming. It keeps you isolated by doing it all alone.

Likewise, if there are two pulling the cart from opposite directions it becomes a tug of war. Each one is straining to make the load move even an inch in the direction they are headed. Ground may be gained but it can easily be lost as they exert all of their strength against each other. As you might imagine the load may never arrive because each one has a bull-headed destination in mind. I’ve termed it such to illustrate that each one pulling in opposing directions only gives consideration to what they want, to what is important to them.

Right now we are all carring a similar load called COVID-19. The coronavirus is a scary and heavy load that requires us all to pull together in the same direction toward a mutual destination. Both the direction and destination are; health, wellness and a way to move forward that does more than just get us through it. I’d like to see us all arrive at our destination healthy, well and uplifted because we did pull together.

In order for that to happen we have to let go of petty differences and judgements that slot people into disparaging categories. We have to release blame and shame, criticism and stubbornly wanting it our way. We must move beyond all of that limited way of thinking and being.

We are being called to a higher consciousness where we consider others feelings and needs equally to our own. Each of us can begin to offer compassion, kindness, love, hope and support to everyone without constrant. We all could use more of these qualities offered to us each day. Let us find ways to pull together, even while practicing social distancing, to lighten everyone’s load…including your own.

You Can Say No Program

Many people find that they are challenged in saying yes to what they want or they put what they want last. Because this is so prevalent in our lives I created a program to assist with saying no.

It is the You Can Say No Program. This program allows you to explore saying no so that you can say yes to what you truly want.

This program is for you if you want to: gain or strengthen your ability to say no, stop being ignored, walked on, dismissed, talked over or shut down and if you wish to: have time for what is important to you, want to feel nurtured and supported in your days, be able to standup for yourself, have your voice be heard and open to the possibilities that enrich you.  

The You Can Say No Program is crafted to assist you in becoming comfortable and confident saying no in most instances so that you can say yes to create a life that you love.

  • Your Ability to Say No Quiz (Value $175) Take this quiz to see how well you are able to say no and find out why that is important. Use this link to take the quiz for free!   https://www.fyrebox.com/play/your-ability-to-say-no-qu_9DROZGpan
  • One Free Introductory Coaching Call focused on Your Ability to Say No Quiz results (Value $150) Send me an email at: seed4change@gmail.com after you take the quiz to schedule this free coaching call.

Saying no is important to your well-being. It is the first key to building a life that you love.

(An added benefit of calls includes never having to fight traffic or find parking, instead engage in coaching from the comfort of your own home.)

Planning your days to include more of what fills you in good ways and eliminate or change what empties or depletes you is how you begin to create a life that nurtures and supports you.

There is richness contained in what you want.  

Let me know if you have any questions. I’m looking forward to talking with you! Shelly O’Connell, Life Coach

Your Ability To Say No Quiz

Hi everyone,

I am offering a NEW Program with special rates through August 19, 2019! It is the You Can Say No Program. This program allows you to explore saying no so that you can say yes to what you truly want.

This program is for you if you want to: gain or strengthen your ability to say no, stop being ignored, walked on, dismissed, talked over or shut down and if you wish to: have time for what is important to you, want to feel nurtured and supported in your days, be able to standup for yourself, have your voice be heard and open to the possibilities that enrich you.  

Take this free quiz to see how well you are able to say no and find out why that is important.

Self-Care Tips to Use When Your Trauma is Triggered

Past trauma can be triggered by different things. If yours is showing up or you are feeling overwhelmed here are some self-care tips to employ.

  1. Emotions are normal. It’s okay to feel and express your emotions. It may be that they are an appropriate response to an inappropriate situation. Let them out in ways that are not harmful to you or others. Crying, screaming, drumming, pounding your pillow, dancing while stomping your feet are great ways to let some of that emotion out. Once emotions are allowed to be expressed we may feel a bit better. The release and expression of emotions are needed and healthy.
  2. Pause, breathe and check with your self about what you need. Do you need rest, food, water, to be unplugged for a while, time in nature, exercise, spiritual nourishment? What? When you recognize what you need in the moment, do it. Don’t put it off, take time to do whatever your self has told you it needs.
  3. If you feel like this is trauma that needs to be heard; talk to someone like a trusted friend, self-help hotline or professional. If you are not ready to talk about it and you don’t have to talk about it unless you want to, you could write it down and then tear it up. Sometimes buried or suppressed trauma needs these things but only when you feel you are ready.
  4. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Recognize that your emotions and reactions may be sensitive and you may be more reactive than usual. That is normal when emotions and trauma have been repressed and are now triggered. Don’t be too hard on yourself and know this will pass as you express the emotions and care for yourself.
  5. Speak up. Let others in your life know that you are sensitive. You do not have to explain any further than that unless you want to do so. Say what you need and don’t.
  6. Retreat. If you need time alone, take it. Doing what is right for you includes time to be on your own if that is what you want.
  7. Honor what is right for you at this moment. It may change with each expression of emotion or trigger of past trauma. Go with what you need now.
  8. You are not alone. There are people who love you and people who understand that past trauma can be triggered. Reach out if you need help with what is happening and with what you are feeling.
  9. Recognize that you are so much more that the past traumatic event. You have many tools and resources both within you and at your command to assist you now.
  10. Notice one small thing to pull you into the present moment. The wonder and beauty of nature are great tools to use here. Being in the present moment is helpful in remembering that the traumatic memory is in the past.

I hold you in love and compassion as you express care for your self. – Shelly