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Posts from the ‘Self Improvment’ Category

Steps to Freedom

Living in the “Land of the Free” and feeling free might be considered as an automatic compliment to each other. In an ideal world that concept would be true. For any of you living in this country or others where feeling free is not your experience here are some tips toward gaining a feeling of liberation.

First, think about some things that you want. Then, design some goals one at a time using this process. Clarify what lifts you up or makes life flow with ease as you come up with a goal. Next, design the steps you can take to accomplish the goal. Break it down into realistic, attainable steps. Determine what, if any, obstacles are in the way or may get in the way. Come up with a plan to remove the blocks or view them from a new perspective that can support your goals. Now do the action steps and clear or re-frame any impediments. When you realize your goal take time to celebrate and find a way to reward yourself for making it happen!

As you become more tuned to what you want based upon what is truly meaningful to you, freedom becomes the lift to give you flight. You begin to feel as if you are effortlessly gliding. Wishing you a glorious and liberating trip!

P.S. If you get stuck, please call on me for assistance. http://www.shellyoconnell/contact

Life Coaching

“We all need a sacred witness in life, a person who can listen without judgment while knowing the right questions to ask that continually illuminate our path.” – Caroline Myss – This quote is the essence of Life Coaching.

In Life Coaching people work on their goals, dreams and desires for their life. Within an environment of non-judgment, clients create action steps toward their goals and learn to identify and remove any obstacles in the way of moving forward.

The International Coach Foundation offers this definition of Life Coaching: “Professional Coaching is an ongoing professional relationship that helps people produce extraordinary results in their lives, careers, businesses or organizations. Through the process of coaching, clients deepen their learning, improve their performance, and enhance their quality of life.

In each meeting, the client chooses the focus of conversation, while the coach listens and contributes observations and questions. This interaction creates clarity and moves the client into action. Coaching accelerates the client’s progress by providing greater focus and awareness of choice.

Coaching concentrates on where clients are now and what they are willing to do to get where they want to be in the future.” – Source: International Coach Federation (www.coachfederation.org)

If you want to learn more about Life Coaching and the benefits it can offer to you in achieving your goals, dreams and desires please send me a message at: www.shellyoconnell.com/contact to schedule a free discovery session.

Nourishment

Beyond the physical need for sustenance there is a hunger. It is an aspect of us that transcends the feeding of the body and the mind. We could term it our spirit, perhaps even our soul and it requires nourishment too.

We can provide food for the body and stimulus for the mind but without fuel for the spirit we can feel stressed out or wonder what is missing from our lives.

Nurturing our spirit renews us while bringing forth our essential light. Nourishment for the spirit and soul can be anything that lifts us and lets us shine. A walk in nature, observing the wonder of children, laughter with good friends, art, dancing, a faith practice are all examples that may nourish us.

The challenge is in discovering what gives you nourishment for your spirit? Once you do, make it a priority for your day. Every day that you give to nourishing your self brings you moments of beauty and deep contentment.

We could all use a bit more of those qualities. What will you do today for nourishment?

 

Respect Women, Respect Life

“If the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being of the woman is intact, so too is that of the family, community and society.” – Ancient Indigenous Proverb

This ancient proverb gives me hope because it tells us that the overall well-being of females directly influences all of existence.

Clearly there is much work to be done to have all females, young and old, be in good health in their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects.

That is why women all over the world march today. They know that respect, care and kind regard are the minimum qualities that must be restored to them.

When the welfare of the women is honored, men and all beings in our world will also be well. In fact, these four essences being intact for females ensures that the entirety of life is glowing.

I know that the road has been long and filled with peril, but today there is confidence because the women raise up their knowledge of what is needed to restore wholeness and harmony.

A proverb is by definition: “a simple and concrete saying, popularly known and repeated, that expresses a truth based on common sense or experience.” This tells me that the ancient Indigenous proverb written above is known as true, which means that at one time the women’s physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being were intact. If it was once, it can be again.

To everyone today who is: marching, holding space, doing ceremony and embracing intentions of respect for the women, know that your efforts bring a restoration of harmony for all.

Thank you.

 

We Are Powerful

We’ve been sold a story. It goes something like this: you are small, you are weak, you’re just one person, what difference can you make? Besides you are unworthy, you’re too this or not enough of that. You’re broken, a victim, so shut up, stand down, be submissive and struggle through.

The main intention of this story is to draw attention to our powerless over our own lives and over the events taking place in the world. If we believe the prescribed narrative we spend our time focused on our lack or smallness. In doing so we become saddened, frustrated, depressed, angry and hopeless. Our individual realities grow bleak as does the world’s condition. This particular story goes round and round upon itself with never a happy ending.

Fortunately, that story is false! It was concocted to keep us from remembering our truth. Pulling away the veil of illusion, we see clearly that we are powerful beyond measure! We are strong and vital. We effect change every moment by virtue of our being here. We are whole. Our bodies are made of the same substance as is contained within the stars of the Universe. We are indeed magnificent!!!

Claim your power now! Use your voice, stand up and be bold. Think about what is right and just for all. Let compassion, love, hope and kindness be your guides. You can offer these and like qualities silently or with actions each day.

Set intentions for the world through prayers, meditations, or with wishes. Focus your mind, heart and emotions on what you’d like to see for all. Send it out into the world with love. Start and end your day in this way. Know that it will be made manifest.

Quick, tell the others.

 

What If…Musings

Today I have been occupied with “what ifs”. Rather than allow my mind to take me on an aimless and futile journey; I called on my inner wisdom to direct the introspection.

The following “what ifs” are not unique, new or even original. They have been around as topics of contemplation and discussion for millennia. I offer my thanks to those who have introduced them, studied them and sought to apply them to their lives.

And now the musings. What if the Universe really does have my back? What if everything I need is always provided? What if all I have to do is ask? What if this moment is perfect? What if there are signposts to guide me along the way? What if beauty is love and love is beauty, as my dream the other night revealed? (Note: I define beauty as the representation of the Divine.) What if we are all one? What if the world is headed to a more peaceful existence? What if the assistance I seek is already present? What if I am the one I’ve been waiting for?

The list could go endlessly on, but what if I take the time to reflect upon each one currently listed? What if you did too?

I could have listed other “what if” questions that take me into doubt, fear or anger. Instead, I decided where to focus my awareness. My experience is defined by wherever I place my attention.

On this day, my choice of “what ifs” gave me an consciousness of the magnificence of life. I discover unity, compassion and faith when I come from my inner knowing. The key I believe is perception.

 

Create more Light, more Love, more Laughter!

I did not arrive at today’s post by saying, “I feel fabulous! Today I’m going to write about sunshine and rainbows.” Nope; I’ll hold onto that topic for another day. Honestly, I’m writing about creating more light, more love and more laughter because my attention has been drawn to the anger I spew into the world.

Just yesterday I was headed down the road when a car traveling at a high speed nearly clipped me as I started to change lanes. Thankfully I saw her in time and corrected. She continued on her way while I screamed, “Bitch, slow the fuck down!” She drew alongside me just in time to see me finish venting my rage. At the same time I looked in her window she was waving a hand and saying, “Sorry.” I watched as she continued weaving in & out of traffic never once modifying her speed.

Where was I headed? Oh you’re going to enjoy this one! I was on my way to yoga class. Yeah, we’ll get back to that in a minute.

About a week or so ago I got up in the morning and there were dirty dishes piled up in the sink. The counters were disgusting! I live with other people who work outside of the home. This wasn’t the first time this has happened. The house standard is: if you cook dinner for everyone then the other people clean up. That morning, as I’ve done in the past, I got angry. I cooked dinner so there was no way I was going to clean up too! I fumed. I told myself I wasn’t going to do them. I started to blame and judge those living in my house who left the kitchen a mess. I began to fall into a victim role thinking things like; “just because I’m home they expect me to do it.” On and on.

Then something shifted. I started to see that dirty kitchen in a whole new way. I thought, “I’m going to clean this up for me. I want a clean space.” I put on some music and started scrubbing. While doing this I was peaceful. The anger, resentment, judgment, etc. had all faded away. I began to reflect on how fortunate I was that I had loved ones with which to share a meal and living space. I began to offer gratitude that I wasn’t alone or lonely. I expanded that to include having plenty of fresh food and water to consume.

Once the kitchen was clean I left for yoga class. On the way there I reflected on the how differently the morning turned out. You see, in the past the kitchen scenario played out as I described but I never shifted my awareness. I carried the anger around all day. I stewed and held onto my anger and righteousness. In fact, I cultivated it until I talked to one of those people I lived with. Then it came out. I slammed them with it and punished them. In essence, I created a wedge between us and I felt justified. What this mindset really does is allow me to hold my anger close while distancing myself from other people.

I thought about my relationship and impact to the whole. What influence or effect does my anger have on the web of life?

I look around and see so much violence, so much judgment and tension in the world. I see people bashing each other in the political realm. Today, I even saw someone comment that they thought a post about taking a contract out to kill a person running for President was funny. Really? When is it ever funny to imagine killing someone?

It is not okay to project anger onto others for any reason. Just because they look, think, act or believe differently from me is no excuse. Diversity is expressed nearly everywhere in life; just look around you to perceive that truth.

The day I attended yoga class after shifting my perspective on the dirty kitchen, at the end of class my teacher said to the room at large. “That’s the thing about yoga. It teaches you to see the places of darkness within you. Then you have the choice to change it.” I agree.

Even though a little over a week later finds me screaming at another driver on the way to yoga class I keep working on the insights I receive. That’s the thing about a spiritual path, it keeps reminding you where your work resides until you fully integrate the lessons. Every spiritual path is meant to grow you in this way.

And so I ask you, where is the darkness within you? Is it possible to shine the light on it, offer love to yourself and others and laugh over your past antics? Will you join me in committing to creating more light, more love and more laughter in the world? I deeply hope you do. The world needs us. I need you. Peace.

 

 

Healing Takes Many Forms

I had the opportunity to write an article for Kajama, an online magazine. The article is on healing. To view the full story follow this link: kajama.com/… Featured Article September 30th. Blessings!

No Permission Needed

Have you ever had a dream, desire or yearning that emanates from deep within you? Do you recognize that it is your heart, your soul calling to you? If so, are you living those wishes out in your life?

I sure hope that you are doing just as you dreamed! But if you are not don’t tune out! You are exactly who I want to talk with today!

Many of us have experienced the longing that I described and we are not living those hopes out in our lives. Why do you suppose that might be true? Fear could play a factor however I believe that some of us are waiting for permission. We worry about what our mate, our children, our family, our friends, even people we have yet to meet will think if we step out of the lines that have been drawn for us. We want love and acceptance and so we wait.

Here’s the thing; waiting for others to grant permission on your dreams, desires and yearning is like asking them to breathe for you. There is just no way possible that they can make that happen! Only you and the Divine have a true understanding of what your heart and soul are calling you to undertake. If you are an adult there is no need to have someone else grant you permission to follow your dreams. As long as what you want to do doesn’t cause abuse to you or another, you are free to pursue what calls to you.

Think of it this way; the stallion in the open pasture never asks, “Is it okay if I run and leap right now?” No way! That would be silly. It feels a delight inside and expresses this in leaping and running. It does it for the simply joy of being.

There is no permission needed other than our own to discover the beauty and happiness in living our dreams.

Meditation Revelation

During a recent meditation I learned that I was defining myself based upon things other people told me about myself. Even as I write that sentence I giggle about its absurdity. How can any other person know more truth about me than I know myself? Ludicrous!!!

And yet for so long I’ve held many of their concepts about me as correct. It doesn’t necessarily mean that everything a person tells you about yourself is limiting or derogatory. Only you can decide if what was told to you is true.

That brings me to the point of this post. It is helpful to your growth and mine to take a moment to examine the beliefs you hold about yourself. Are they the truth of who you really are at your core?

In this meditation it came to me that I believed the definitions others ascribed to me. Many of those descriptions from these people were much smaller than the actual reality of me. Immediately after this was revealed in meditation I began to compose my own definition of myself. Through tears of freedom I wrote down the following:

I am radiant. I am beautiful, kind, free. The truth is that I am a light and truth filled gift to the world. I bring the remembrance of beauty of Grace, of love. I carry the knowledge of loving and honoring the self. I am ancient and grand beyond measure. I honor all that I am. I see the truth of me. I know what is true of who I am. I stand fully in my inner true essence. I live my life from this sacred place. I embrace me.

Then I offered gratitude for this insight and revelation of truth.

You may notice, as I did after reading it, how many times truth or true is used in my own definition of me. I think that is important! Each of us is the sole one to determine our definition of self. In doing so we reclaim the truth of our being. The we begin we walk forward in a new way that is filled with openness and we take our next step based in authenticity.