Today I am sharing the story of how I came to be a Flirting Coach for Women. I keep getting requests for the story, so I am presenting it to you now.
While on a women’s conference in Miami a friend asked me to help her remember how to flirt. She did flirt in the distant past but had been shut down around flirting for quite some time. I was in with a delighted yes! She asked this of me because through the years she witnessed men’s response to me. Many of my girlfriends have commented upon this very thing many times. My response had always been, “Men love me.” followed by a shoulder shrug.
Picture us on the sunny white sands of Miami beach. This is a town that is beautiful, and it loves to play and have fun. It was an ideal place to practice flirting. I began to playfully flirt and encouraged my friend to let her flirt out too. Interesting events began to occur.
Here are a few of them. I went to the bar to order a drink, it was very busy, so I picked out the tallest bartender, because I am only 5’4″, and began to flirt with him. I did this so he would come over to take my order. As this was taking place, another man started talking with me. When the bartender I was flirting with arrived in a brief time to take my request the man instructed him to put whatever I was having on his tab. I thanked him then wished him a nice time in town.
I took the drinks back to my friend and returned the cash she had given me for her drink. She looked at me mystified. I told the story of what happened. The other ladies at our table were in awe. “How did you do that?” they asked me. I was at a loss because this is the norm for me. I have never paid for a drink in my life unless I wanted to do so.
At one point the waiter kept winking at me as he asked me if there was anything he could get me. I was not attempting to order anything then because my friend and I had eaten earlier. Several of the other women at our table were trying to place an order, however the waiter was ignoring them because he was totally focused on me. I had to pick up the menu, ask the ladies what they wanted, then give the waiter their order. He again winked at me and asked if he could get me anything.
One evening a man was attempting to flirt with my friend, but she completely missed his cues. This happened with many of the women who were at the conference. The women I observed were all single and did not want to be. Other women began to comment on men’s reactions to me. I gave my “Men love me” answer and continued with the weekend.
When I came home, the experience would not leave me alone. I thought about these women. They were missing the cues being sent to them, and in many ways were shut down. They needed help and I knew that I could help them. I then wrote, Finding Your Flirt, as a way for women to reclaim their essence, gain confidence flirting, notice the cues being sent to them, make meaningful connections, and open up to gifts of play.
Every woman that read the book loved it! Many wanted more so I developed Flirting Coaching to assist them in moving past limits and accomplishing their goals. Every woman who applied what she learned in Flirting Coaching gained confidence in flirting and in themselves. Several are now in meaningful relationships as they hoped they would be. All are more fully engaged with life, having fun, and shining their essence more fully.
I also created Friday’s Flirts to introduce women to flirting from a unique perspective other than what patriarchy has made up about it. I’ve written articles on flirting for a variety of magazines and have been interviewed on the topic numerous times. I love what I do and am passionate about women enjoying life, and being able to be playful, so that they shine their radiance into the world.
Prior to becoming a Flirting Coach I was a Life Coach. In the past I was the Program Director for Rape Crisis, the Chair for The Sexual Assault Coalition, and on the Attorney General’s Task Force Against Animal Cruelty. I have been a Case Manager for Women and Children of Domestic Violence. I have a Master of Divinity, a Bachelor of Science in Behavioral Science, and was trained by the Institute of Life Coach Training. I was an apprentice to a Native American Elder for thirteen years. I am emphatic and intuitive. I use all of my experience including being an expert flirt and being fluent in dude (which means I understand men) in my work with Flirting Coaching clients. Go to the homepage to purchase Finding Your Flirt and see what started it all.
In joy,
Shelly
P.S. (I am inspired to showcase another woman entrepreneur each week. You may be interested in them and their work. This is how women uplift each other. Highlighting these women will be called Shelly’s Shoutout. It starts today. I hope you find it beneficial.)
Shelly’s Shoutout
This week I am shouting out Sandra Lee. I had the most amazing healing work with her during one of her MAP, which stands for Make Anything Possible, sessions. She is a talented healer, and intuitive coach. Here is her information. “Women healers, coaches, and ex-corporate professionals hire me to grow their business because most are overwhelmed, scattered, and don’t have enough clients. I help them structure for sustainable growth and tap into their intuition. Bottom line, they increase their income and impact.” Subscribe to her newsletter for more information. I highly recommend doing Make Anything Possible sessions with her at the minimum. Subscribe – Miracle Inspirations by Sandra Lee
Friday’s Flirt – This Started It All
